The Beard of the Ranger is Upon You!

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Chuck Norris turned 74 this month! 74 may be pretty old for most of us, but given the fact that Chuck has already counted to infinity twice, turning 74 is no big deal for him. Well, in honor of this non-momentous occasion, here’s an old Chuck Norris cartoon/caricature…

It’s not the eyes of the Ranger that bad-guys need fear… it’s the stubble!

As a public service to our readers, (and an opportunity to simultaneously goof on two of our favorite internet-crazes) we at Right-Hemisphere Laboratory, once and for all, have set out to debunk the widespread myth that: Chuck Norris is concealing a third fist behind his beard.

The above illustration (drawn from an actual true-life event) proves the “fist-chin behind-the-beard” theory to be impossible! Simply put, Mr. Norris does not wear a beard – Mr. Norris wears a Crazy Bad-Ass Honey Badger – the snarling psycho-beast that puts the BAD in BADger! This also explains why Mr. Norris never shaves his “beard” – A honey-badger beard is the toughest beard on earth, and no razor known to man, not even the Schiick Super-Duper-Hydro-Glide–Octo-Plus Blade TM can handle it’s unbelievable manly toughness. Besides that, Chuck is an animal lover, and would never harm any animal, that he wasn’t planning to eat – which would usually be raw: fur, bones, entrails, and all.

Pound for pound the Honey Badger is said to be the most fearless animal on earth (next to Chuck, of course), and is proven to be the only animal brave enough (or stupid enough) to live on Chuck Norris’ chin. This new evidence, however, doesn’t rule out the possibility of a third fist lurking behind the Honey Badger, but so far, no one insane enough to take a peek that stubbly curtain of death, has lived to verify this as fact.

Scientists still remain baffled as to what type of creature could be fierce enough to take up residence on Chuck’s pectoral muscles –  it is their stated opinion that even a Honey Badger wouldn’t be stupid enough go there!

The above rendering depicts one of the most beautiful examples of symbiosis ever found in nature – it portrays the stealthy, cunning, and lethal team of Chuck and his “Beard-ger” obtaining/preparing one of their favorite delicacies – a delicious meal of Black-Mamba Sushi.

So, all you bad guys out there, unless you want a terminal case of stubble-burn… don’t mess with Chuck!

©2011 Barry/Right-Hemisphere Laboratory

  • Frosted leprechauns they're gastrically malicious!
  • Honey-Badger-Gets-Lucky-Sketch

Honey Badger Gets Lucky

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Frosted leprechauns they’re gastrically malicious!

Lucky the leprechaun finds out, the hard way, it’s not always his Lucky Charms that they’re after. While Honey Badger discovers that, just like their cereal, leprechauns taste magically delicious, too. When asked to describe the magically-delicious flavor of leprechauns, Honey Badger droolingly responded with, “Tastes kinda like chicken, but minty-fresh – like it was dipped in a vat of that green soap, or had just finished taking a shower in Ireland.”

Unfortunately, Honey Badger also discovered, that in addition to being magically delicious,  leprechauns can also be gastrically malicious, and the day-after effects can be eerily similar to those typically experienced on March 18 – or any other day after consuming mass-quantities of green beer.  Well, as I’m sure you all know, Honey Badger don’t care, and he is now determined to find out what silly rabbits, arthritic/creaky rice-munching elves, sugar-addicted bears, and all those other cereal-hawking advertising icons taste like.
As a special bonus, here’s the rough sketch I drew for this cartoon. As you can see, green beer and drawing definitely don’t mix. Hmmm… maybe I should give orange beer a try…
Happy St. Paddy’s Day to one and all!
© 2013 Barry/Right-Hemisphere Laboratory

Deaded Bliss

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It’s a nice day for a bite wedding. 

When Zombies agree to take a hand in marriage, they really mean it… talk about a dead-icated couple!

Here’s a gift caricature for a couple of zombie newly-deads celebrating their first deading anniversary.

Do you have that special hard-to-shop-for zombie that you’d like to surprise with unique gift for their next un-death day, deading anniversary, ground-uation, etc.? Are you tired of hearing “Oh, gee, another brain… just what I always wanted… gurgle… glrrck… glrfft… ” ? Then why not consider a zombie gift-caricature?  That’s right, surprise your special zombie: contact Right-Hemisphere Laboratory, and order a swell gift that your zombie will really dig!

© 2010 Barry/Right-Hemisphere Laboratory